Fear of feeling any kind of discomfort
By KatherineFrom USA
Hello there. I am curious how others have been dealing with not wanting to feel pain or dissatisfaction. I feel as if I wake up with low dopamine levels most days, so any kind of disturbance knocks me down until I have no reserves left. I do not have a particularly demanding life, but being around a lot of people is very stimulating for me. So, at the end of a day at my college campus, I feel shaky and worked up with zero recourse for how to soothe myself. Small amounts of stress zap my ability to function very well which is embarrassing and frustrating for me as I have more ambition than to go to a couple of lectures a day and binge eat after I get home until I'm so sick I can't do anything else, much less homework or reading. I hardly initiate spending time with friends or family or dare to try new things I might find really fun in order to reduce risk of exposure to further stressors. Any kind of disappointment or trouble is sort of terrifying. I already feel like I barely get by doing less than I want to. I hate treating myself like I'm made of glass, yet I have had many experiences where I sign up for a little more responsibility/activity and I end up having to bail out on a friend or quit a job or drop a class. I obviously need more pleasurable activities in my life besides eating, but if I take compulsive eating away I am quite literally taking away the only thing that gives me any kind of relief. I am so scared to forgo anymore of my comfort but the compulsive eating makes me so miserable it has to stop. I don't know how to build up to a point where I have enough activities at my disposal so that I have healthy destressors. I don't know how to find healthy dopamine-producing activities. I don't know how to create a mind/body that has enough dopamine on its own to begin with. I'm grateful for this programme and I am willing to do everything, but this is a major roadblock that I cannot figure out on my own. Any advice is supremely appreciated.
Hi Katherine: Obviously food is your primary source of dopamine right now and you need to learn how to meet the real need with nurturing dopamine sources. That is part of what we do jointly in the program, learn how to identify your dopamine sources and what dopamine sources meet what need. Regarding dealing with stress, please take the "Life Skill assessment" and let's dialogue about what life skill might need to be bolster to build the ability to deal with challenging situations. Warmly, Dilia Suriel
Thank you for the kind and fast response, Dilia! I took the life skill assessment a few days ago for the second time and have a few questions about interpreting the results. Are we supposed to be aiming for 3/3 on all the skills? Thank you again, Dilia.
Katherine I hear you! I have tried other means of soothing myself after a long day and I am REALLY struggling with that. For the most part I have cut down on my portions at meals being mindful and for the MOST part I'm not eating all day long at work (today I raided my friends' candy drawer for a handful... ugh) but the EVENING I just have nothing left. I make dinner and I have a glass of wine and then after the kitchen is cleaned up I'm up and back raiding the cabinets! I recognize the progress I've made in other parts of my day but the evening is a KILLER for me. I've got to figure out some kind of intensive calm down. I think I am going to try by doing my meditation right after I put my son to bed. I play with him for my post meal dopamine but once he goes to bed I need a very very extreme intervention to keep my mits off the chips and cookies and crackers... and and and... (ugh!)
I am struggling to figure out WHAT I need! I lost 20 pounds on this program without even thinking about it. It happened at a time when I was extrememly busy with work. Now that's over, and I feel lost.
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